Zion Der hai Zion Der hai
Recommendations: 5

hi.ok i love this...but just a lil bit of editing in the way that i would love it if you didnt discribe it all ..keep us from knowing what it is you want to tell us ..just give us limited info an intrigue us with a teaser :)

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

A great poem. Don't over punctuate carry on the line and the meaning with for example 'walking through the forest my eyes see....

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

You little beast... try without the full stop after happened and at the end what about trying without the comma and changng and to I never turn back.

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Kaitlyne Beaudin Kaitlyne Beaudin
Recommendations: 25


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For Fools

I wrote this in class the other day cause I was bored out of my mind.

Its midnight. The moon is up and the mist is covering it ever so slightly.
The wind is whistling. The pain is foreseen in such force it makes me breathless.
Whispering in the night, A fatal growl escapes my lips.
Slowly lifting my head I howl at the silvery moon. Walking quietly though the forest.
My eyes see though the darkest of nights I'm an animal
made out of the blackest, and darkest of nights. 2 comments

I'm an animal- a beast I see the fire a few miles away. Walking toward the
open flame. I leap in the air, My claws swipe the air. I land on
my four paws. My eyes searching for something. I jump
though the flames. I growl at the other creature. Hidden
in the shadows. I lift my head once again i howl at the not
so hidden moon. I turn, and walk in the night as if
nothing has happened. While, the blackest of black
eyes watch me as I walk, and never turn back. 1 comment

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