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The Dream

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She had a friend.

Okay so I had the craziest most realistic dream ever last night.

I dreamed that I was on a beach with a woman and a child who was playing in the water as we realized that the space shuttle was flying over us and that was cool, but it was making wild turns and dives. It seemed very odd so we watched in amazement as it turned sharply toward the open sea and began to go into a full throttle dive out towards the horizon in the ocean.

Just then I noticed what looked like a huge missile headed straight down from the sky towards the same area in the sea that the shuttle seemed to be headed. It was a piercing intense white light leaving a vapor trail as it headed straight down just a few miles out at sea and we could see that the shuttle appeared to be diving very intently to try to intercept the missle in flight before it could hit on its own.

This was all taking place in seconds, but I realized that this was not going to end well and that the light in the sky seemed to be a missle so I yelled for the girls to get on the ground. We all dropped to our bellies to try to avoid the blast and just as the missile hit the ocean a few miles out. I could see a classic nuclear explosion going off in the ocean with an expanding donut shaped ring around the impact site and as I laid there on the dirt with my head away from the blast I knew this was not something I would survive. There was a resounding boom and you could feel it in the air as a violent wind began to hit the beach along with water vapor and the sound was deafening. I remember there being a weird taste in the air the moment the it had exploded. I knew that the force of the explosion was probably about to reach us as I could hear high winds and a roaring of the ocean heading our way and I started praying for my soul in what I knew was my final moments. I asked God for forgive me of my sins and then waited. I wondered if that was enough, because it seemed too quick. I waited for what seemed an eternity, athough it was clearly only a second or so later that it began to get intense and I braced not knowing how this was going to feel. I wondered if it would feel like I was being burned alive or if it would be instantaneous, I wondered if I would be torn apart, or if the blast was going to pick me up and hurl me miles into the air fully alert of it all and what that might be like. This all took place in just seconds, but each second seemed to be so big in and of itself. Time had nearly stood still as I was needing to think about how it was going to feel, and about my soul, and about God. I had my eyes closed as I hugged the ground in this vicious and turbulent wind and pressure that was rushing onto me.

A crazy brightness enveloped me now and I was being shaken violently and I remember realizing I was not feeling any pain as these final moments began to unfold in what seemed like forever. I knew this was going to be the end of my life and I really wanted to be alert and awake for what I was about to experience and wondered what I could expect afterwards. I remember wanting more time to just understand and think about it all and I know a part of me wondered if this was really just going to be the end of all my thoughts and my life-force in general. Would it just go black and end? Would there be silence and blackness or pearly gates?

At this moment I was being shaken violently and I was feeling my body start to vaporize I think. There was no pain. I could not really process any complete thoughts during this part of it because it was so violent and fast, but I was essentially just being taken and any sense of control was surely gone at this point. I never even had time to even wonder about the girls because I knew it was the end for all of us and I had to deal with my own mortality in this very brief moment. I am glad that I didn't experience their deaths as well. That would have been much harder to endure. I never heard them or saw anything because it was so fast, so violent, and so bright.

So here it was, my final moment on this earth. I felt intense pressure on my body and head, fierce shaking, and an extreme light that enveloped me as I was being reduced to mere particles about to be birthed into some new existence. This is literally how it felt to me.

Quite honestly, not only was I not afraid, but I actually think I was smiling with anticipation to find myself at the door of my own mortality and I knew I was about to learn what it was all about. There was so much pressure in the air now and then suddenly, almost like toothpaste out of a tube, I was surrendered into a dark weightless void where I began to just float in silence. It was dark and quiet. It was like being in a terrible storm and then suddenly closing the door to shut out the noise, the wind, the light, everything. It was safe. I don’t know how else to explain it, except that it felt like I was home. There was nothing but darkness, but there was a serenity that you feel on a dark windless night on a calm sea. It was stillness. There was such quietness that I could sense that the world had been left behind me. I remembered reading something about God once that said, "Go to a quiet place and there you will find me", and that made sense to me now. Then without warning, I woke up... This was as real as anything I had ever experienced and even knowing now that it was just a dream, I know that I experienced dying and I know that is how I would have dealt with it had it been real.

I went over it many times in my head so that I would remember it in the morning. Being a person who firmly believes that everything happens for a reason, I am left to wonder why? What was the purpose of this dream? I knew it was important for me to remember this and to get it out there for all to see. It has definitely awakened my curiosities and concerns about mortality. I think we all get so caught up in our daily lives that it becomes easier and easier to forget how fragile we are and how quickly we can be reduced to dust.

Maybe you should find your quiet place today. Maybe we all should.

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Next: RED WOODS - chapter 4