Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - The pendulum sways back and forth Back and forth it sways 13 chimes emit from a broken clock The ground beneath my feet cracks The ground beneath my feet crumbles The ground beneath my feet gives way - " There is a certain eerie psychological element here that is so subtle that it may be difficult to discern: I'm not sure that was your intention, but it is bright and apparent and dark. It begins with a swaying pendulum and the number 13 - but not only 13, no; 13 chimes from a broken clock. And when the character falls...well, that - we could say, was bound to happen. It feels like doom from the start! I'll just have to keep reading! I really like the way this one opens! Eerie and catchy!

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - Now I find myself in an ocean of melted time - " Very nice! That is a remarkable sentence. Unique and quite engaging!

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Toney Eugene Toney Eugene
Recommendations: 10

Surreality


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*Was just trying my hands at something new*


The pendulum sways back and forth
Back and forth it sways
13 chimes emit from a broken clock
The ground beneath my feet cracks
The ground beneath my feet crumbles
The ground beneath my feet gives way
And I find myself falling
Falling
Falling
Deeper and deeper into nothingness
I see darkened hands with no bodies
They reach out for me
Some with claws
Some with no nails
They stretch
And stretch
Yet I remain slightly out of reach
Suddenly time stands still
Then it melts into something indescribable
Now I find myself in an ocean of melted time
Reminiscent of ‘The Persistence of Memory’
Being pulled by the currents
Swaying one way
Then the other
Quite like that pendulum from the first line
Something pulls me under
Deeper
And
Deeper
I am being pulled into this thick liquid
But somehow I can still breathe
Everything is clear
I relax
Unknown creatures surround me
Some big
Some small
Yet all unknown to me
They then stand in a perfect line
According to size
Smallest to largest
Each eating the smallest one before it
It’s only me and the last creature
I try to swim away but I’m stuck
It smiles at me
Open its mouth
And swallows me whole
Once again I find myself falling
Falling into the unknown
I see a light at the bottom
And I fall right through
The darkness cleared
And I’m standing upright
In an upside down world
Birds are flying around my feet
While dogs run up above my head
Everything is backwards
Backwards is everything
A man with an upside down face
Yells out “You don’t belong here!”
He points a finger at me
And I feel myself moving
Being pushed with a force
Smoke circles me
Thick
Acrid
Slowly it dissipated
I find myself in a strange nightmare
But the sun is up
Maybe it’s a daymare
I see a bloody bride
Right hand holds a knife
Left hand holds a head
Eyes as black as ebony
Ebony envies her eyes
She licks the bloody knife
Stares at me
Walks slowly towards me
I ran
And ran
And ran
And ran
Then I tripped over nothing
And found myself in a pool
A pool of snakes
They slither around me
They slither on me
They slither above me
They slither below me
They slither
And hiss
Millions of forked tongues
Licking me
Tasting me
I yell
They enter my mouth
Slither down
I feel them slithering from the inside
It all goes black
I feel myself losing my earthly body
Slowly unconsciousness sets in
A loud noise pierces through
It sounds like a clock
Could it be the broken clock from line 3?
I opened my eyes
Alarm blazing
I hit the snooze button
Covered in sweat
I let out a sigh
Turned to the left
The sun beats down on my face
Turned to the right
The bloodied bride smiles at me
Raises her knife
I scream out…darkness…nothing… 2 comments


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