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Jordan Newman Jordan Newman
Recommendations: 15

bury my heart on the cold corner.

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i see angels above me, i see demons below me, fighting over heaven.
i loved her more when i was sober.
i don't want a second chance.
love starts with that of a flickerin' cigarette
i swear i could feel your love before i knew your name.

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soul mates

each day i awake to this fear,
that i may again face another
day with no reason for me to be;
and so i dress myself in despair.
the light of day illuminates all
but that doesn't mean i want to
see anything; & every place i go,
leaves me feeling lost in a familiar
room, where my friend's a stranger.
i calm myself with any way I'm able-
whether it be another cup of tea
or something stronger, it matters
little to me; cos honestly, i care
only for me not to have to struggle.
i long to simply feel nothing at all.
the guilt of the world i would carry
on my back if it allowed for her to
sleep even just one wink more soundly.
every day a piece of me is taken by
everyone, and i am finding it harder
than ever to get up and even bother.
the words i speak throughout the day
feel forced and my movements appear
to be orchestrated; and i long to
simply retreat to my bed where i may
lay in quiet pain, washing away my
inability to just simply fade away.
and mother may i have just somebody
to understand me? to hold me tightly
as i fight for the right to be happy?
it's a shame i feel as if I'll honestly
know nothing other than the misery
that echoes inside of me so damn proudly.
where do the restless call home? constantly
i wonder; but so far there is absolutely
no answer to my question, so my gin is dry
as i delude myself into another fit of joy.
my pale skin appears often to be yellow,
which leaves me choking back a need to cry;
because i don't want to die this damn lonely.

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