Change "their tomorrows" to "tomorrow". That way, it fits with the paring of "their ____ and their ___" followed by "of _____ and ____". Seems more poetic that way, in my opinion.

I only included the 'their' after a re-read. I might put 'of' instead then see how that reads.

Hi Lucy: Consider this: Here at this place called ScribeSlice, We share our joy and sorrow, We joined to read and write Of yesteryear and tomorrow. We come from here and yon all places in this old world To form a lasting kinship With dreams, like flags, unfurled. Our cultures seem at times to fail, To deliver best in times of need. Some give scant time and thus fail, In things required to succeed. Some will stay and persevere, Others will not hear the call, But to those whom we hold dear, We'll share our comments, one and all.

What happens to the poem when Janet wants to sign up with Scribe Slice. "The river was deep but I swam it, Janet The future is ours so let's plan it, Janet So please don't tell me to can it, Janet I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you... The road was long but i ran it, Janet There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Janet If there's one fool for you then I am it, Janet Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Janet, I love you"

That would be telling wouldn't it? But back then, there was no Janet. You are too funny Leslie.

lol yes you are funny Leslie.

i think in the last line it should be too instead of to..

No. I intended it to be 'to' but forgot to put in a comma, which I will now do. Thanks for pointing it out.

also would be better than too.

Yes, that's true.

Thanks Daniel...have changed it.

in things required to succeed could also be replaces with lacking committment to succeed but that is just my own opinion.