Jim Miller Jim Miller
Recommendations: 29

How do you know (that nobody else has "those" voices). It's not whether you have them or not, it's what you do with them. No? By the way, if you make spaces between the lines, I can comment about that line AT that line. : )

Asma Ahsan Asma Ahsan
Recommendations: 31

No, the voice in my head only asks why this guy uses 'f' words instead of digging up a dictionary(in english please, ot french *sigh*) and increase his vocabulary by using strong non profane words that actually have a better impact on the reader, plus make you come out as a very LEARNED person. :P

Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

Jim - this is true. I don't like the idea of romanticizing mental illness, but I will point out that it is statistically unlikely the majority of my readers are suffering the way I'm suffering. As to the spacing, I don't control that. As I've said elsewhere, I don't edit my writing. So the spacing is whatever random spacing I decide to do at the time of writing. *shrugs* Sometimes I have a lot of spaces, sometimes it is one big 600 word stanza.

Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

Asma - the only word I like more than "fuck" is "goddamn." Sometimes I combine it in "godfuckingdammit". That's a very specific emotion for me. Fuck is raw. It's real. It gets the point across very quickly, like taking a punch to the gut. I can be eloquent, but my personality is simply just abrasive.

Asma Ahsan Asma Ahsan
Recommendations: 31

No issues Julian. Just a word of caution though. We are very open and blunt here. A lot of good comments but also a lot of honest feedback. I hope you can take criticism too as well as encouragement. I was just expressing my opinion. That's all. Just sharing with you what the voice in my head said. NOT asking you to change your writing style. As a writer, you can write anything here. We are totally fine with it as long as you categorize it rightly. Please feel easy posting anything. There is no censor - this is my personal opinion. :)

Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

Oh no worries at all. Sorry, that's just my sense of humour. I know. I'm not that funny. I very much appreciate your opinion, and the opinion of everyone here. I mean no disrespect.

Asma Ahsan Asma Ahsan
Recommendations: 31

I can see that too. Thankyou for understanding, so many cultures here, so much diversity. You do well to respect all. :)

Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

I try to be understanding. Sometimes I'll make a joke that doesn't quite fall through. Sorry about that.

Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

This is the best line I've ever written.

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soul mates

This writing contains explicit content and is only for adults. You have been warned.

The title of this song is hilarious.

I'm not good at much, I hate saying things out loud
I'm unsure of the definitions of swag, hip, proud, now
If I were to tell you that I'm white now how 'bout
You don't respond with a "You don't say now?"
But you don't talk like that
You don't think like I do
I'm not trying to say I'm better than you
I know that I am probably already losing you
To the voices in your head telling "Who the fuck is this dude?"
But you don't have those voices like I do
Piecing your grammar together like you still in high school
See what I did there? Telling those voices to "Take a hike, dude."
But I know I'm talking to myself, I'm a fucked up kike tool
That's not to say I'm Jewish – well I mean I am
But I'm still okay with eating ham – not the point I mean to make
That's a habit I'm trying to break
Breaking off into bullshit rambling abstract syllables lose meaning to time and space what the fuck am I going on about right now? 8 comments

I'm out of words – verb, adverb
Subject, adjective, predicate
Mannequin ambiguous to how big his dick is
Don't let arrogant intellect imply disrespect or lack of etiquette
So eloquent in retrospect, but who needs retrospect?
Melancholia disposition to a wishful tourniquet
A perspective to ditch, switch to forward thinking
Think ahead.

Dwelling on the past will remind me I'm an ass
Just some flat-nosed ego junkie with an autistic stutter
And a horrible mother
And a whore in the mirror
Mirroring all those things I hate to do
But I'm 'bout to break a bitch for bullshit and belly-aching
Altruistic Auschwitz abstract alliteration
That was funny to me, you see, and I'm the most important in my life
I could not live without me.

I hate this
Rapping I mean
I'm not good at it and I feel it's often demeaning
Obligatory video game meme-meme
To break up the bouts of depression
And did you catch my stutter?
I do this shit on purpose
I hope this shit is worth it
Because writing it just seems worthless
I'm currently reading the Koran
I don't have a line for that, tis just an interesting fact
I get it, I'm a hack
Three cigars away from a fucking heart attack
But at least the pay is good
Sitting in my grandparents basement at this desk made out of wood
No, that's not a metaphor for masturbating, you mook meshugenah
I mean my desk is made out of wood.

I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.
I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.

Blowing up this track like the part of my family from Iran
Except I'm really nervous and I don't know what to do with my hands
So it's more like the first time I lost it in a bathroom at Barney's in New York
"I like bread and butter" on her IPod and she said "I" was the dork
We shuffled our feet more than she shuffled her music
And all these years later I never learned to shut up during or after
What is this song about now? I think I need I drink.

She didn't want to introduce me to her family because I wasn't Jewish enough
I didn't want her to meet mine because fuck those assholes
I realized I stopped rhyming, uh…
If I beatbox a bill to Capitol Hill
A bill about pills to give you all sorts of thrills
Assisted suicide suite A, proposition nine
We will Triumph if we Lay It On The Line
Like our heads we lay like spools to unwind
Lay it on the line, don't waste my time
Uh….what rhymes with time?
Fuck you. Orange.

My mind keeps racing back to that girl, and I don't know what gives
I haven't thought about her for years, sometimes I question if she exists
I'm in a happier relationship now, "and perhaps," I think. "That's it."
I keep dwelling on the past because it is pretty scary shit
I feel like I'm in love again, and for the first time it's legit
But I've seen myself in action and I know I am the pits
When the going gets tough my sanity just fucking quits
There's a black hole in my mind creating quantum fucking rifts
And I feel like only alcohol is there to give my life a lift
If I keep going this hard, there will be no chance I live.

But at least I know she'll never leave me, she thinks I'm hilarious. 1 comment

I'm in it deep, like the shit I've stepped in
Step Up 2: The Streets, I think I hate myself
I don't care so much about putting records on a shelf
Because this song is just an ironic cry for help.

I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.
I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.
I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.
I think I'd like a drink now.
This is as much a chorus as my life can get.

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