Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - another in an endless blur of men. - " Excellent word choice here. It flows with a drunken stupor kind of fluidity.

Jordan Hewitt Jordan Hewitt
Recommendations: 13

a cop leaving a taser on his car seat? Hmm. Normally a taser is kept on the duty belt and there isn't really any reason to take it off unless you plan to use it. I would think she would have one of those two prong tasers, not one of the X26's hanging around. Not to mention where would she get replacement cartridges? Not to mention that would be a $1000 loss to the department. Kind of a nit picky thing to grasp onto but with a future in law enforcement that bugs me :)

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - no facial tings, no black zippers all over de clothes, you look respectable; this business not street corner. - " Having lived in Vancouver's 'Sunset' neighbourhood for years I was surrounded by - literally - thousands upon thousands of East Indians, so this is funny to me!

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - “The fuck’r you smiling at, you’re about to die you stupid bitch.” - " Use an exclamation mark here.

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

Man, I loved that movie 'Near Dark!' Bet you're a big "American Werewolf In London" guy too. Just a hunch!

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

" - She heard a flick and smelled tobacco, and then felt the cigarette touch her lips; she smoked quietly and watched the rising sun. Slowly it rose as if it knew the significance of this morning and it peaked, ever so slightly, over the lip of the world. She felt the wind, quietly kiss her face and bring with it the first rays of dawn. They felt warm, like her mother’s touch... - " Great visuals here. I AM transported. Excellent!

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Neal Shanncappo Neal Shanncappo
Recommendations: 3

The Longest Dawn


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She had a friend.

      They’re fighting again, she thought as she climbed out onto the fire escape outside her bedroom window, with its fabulous view of the alley behind the old Cineplex and rundown apartment building; that looked just like the one they lived in. It had been like this for as long as she could remember, her mother fighting with some man, another in an endless blur of men.
       The girl looked up to the sky and noticed the full moon glaring back down at her thoughtfully. She smiled then, wondering like she always did why she considered the full moon as thoughtful and never when it wasn’t full. She thought it might have something to do with her fascination with lycanthropy and its many forms, well if you considered Dungeons and Dragons a good source of information. But then why would lycanthropy be only restricted to wolves, why not birds, bears, lions, wolverines; maybe that was where the Anishinabe got their legends of shape-shifters and still more people their sasquatch and yeti sightings.
       She sighed when the sounds of some dishes or cup being smashed against the wall reached her ears; here we go again, back to paper plates. She climbed back inside her room and plopped down on her bed, stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars and moons on her ceiling. She reached into the pockets of her hoodie for a lighter and her pack of Pall Malls, but the pack turned out to be empty. She groaned and after a moment rolled off her bed and walked quietly to her dresser, but her spare pack was also empty; she sighed and gave her ET, the extraterrestrial doll with its floppy arms and bean bag hands a dark look as if he was to blame.
       “I thought I told you not to smoke anymore of my cigs?” ET didn’t reply, he just stared back at her with his innocent eyes as if to silently say; “What?! Me smoke cigarettes? T’yah wight ahzzif!”
       She rolled her eyes and then glanced in the full length mirror and made sure her makeup was at least passable; black eyeliner heavy and smoky -  check; blood red tear drop under left eye -  check; thick dark maroon lipstick – check. She gave herself a lopsided grin. Eric Draven ain’t got nothing on you babe. Her reflection looked quite pleased with herself.
       She carried her steel-toe and heeled black painted work boots to the fire escape and then slung them over her shoulder, then climbed down to the first floor; three floors down. There she sat on the bottom landing and put her boots on; checked again to make sure she had her taser on her belt chain; she’d stolen it last year from some idiot cop who was dumb enough to leave it lying on the passenger seat with the window rolled down. Hey, it’s a rough neighbourhood, well it would be if this were Toronto, or ... actually who am I kidding this is Canada. Well I suppose it could be Winnipeg, now that would be bad. She shrugged and finished tying up her boots. As if Ottawa was really that tough of a place, still Vanier wasn’t the safest of neighborhoods, unless you looked like a freak and hung out with the other freaks or worse were like her and Indian; and not one of the cool kind from India. 2 comments


      She looked around one more time and satisfied the ally was empty she climbed down and hang dropped to the cement. She smiled and strode down the alley to the street and from there it was only a short block and a half to the Zesties; they’d rip her off an extra buck or two on the smokes, but she was only 16 so couldn’t really complain. Besides she’d known Derrick most of her life and he only got the job cause she helped him forge his ID with her “borrowed” school Mac. She spit on the sidewalk as she stopped at the lights, yeah like I’m sooo gonna give that back.
       Derrick was in fine form, head bobbing to Faderhead, he was a freak too, not that he dressed like one while at work. The Pakistani that owned the place and who hired him, had a dress code; no facial tings, no black zippers all over de clothes, you look respectable; this business not street corner. That last one always made them laugh, cause technically it was the street corner, well the corner store which when you thought about it was pretty much the same thing.
       “Hey dewd,” she said grabbing some Dentyne vanilla ice, she liked it because of the rapper her mom loved despite his not having released an album since before she was born. He’s dreamy she would say, then again she also thought a Mexican named Paunch was sexy and to make matters worse she compared him to Taylor Lautner; he sooo doesn’t look like Taylor. Sometimes she just couldn’t stand her mother.
       “Lil’laaaaaay!” Derrick said his head shaking and weaving side to side, she rolled her eyes, I’m sooo gonna have to hit him, no wait. I can’t he’s still got my cd’s! Urrrrr! I have got to get an ipod. “Wanna reeefill eh?”
       She smiled lamely and held up three fingers. He just laughed and tossed her two packs of Pall Mall’s the cheapest smokes in the place except for the no-name brand of ass-flavoured-smokes not even the homeless smoked. She left a scrunched up $15 on the counter and sauntered out, with a last look over her shoulder and waved her two bags of M&M’s, Derrick waved back, then blinked. She was already out the door by the time he thought to say something. She’d over paid him, barely, for the cigarettes so he wouldn’t really mind her nicking the chocolates.
       She smoked as she walked heard the fighting coming from her apartment even before she turned up the alleyway; she cursed under her breath, but kept walking. It wasn’t until she was fifteen feet into the ally that she noticed the three gang bangers staring at her. SHIT!
       She turned around to walk back out the ally and made her last mistake; she flinched at the sight of the body they were dumping. She hunched her shoulders and pretended not to notice, she wanted to run, she should be running, RUN girl, RUN!! Why aren’t you running; cause then they’d know you saw!
       “Hey!” A hand reached out to her and she did run then, slipping easily out of her hoodie. The mouth of the ally was right there all she had to do was get to it, but where to go then? It’s not like they were just going to give up then, and the Zesties wasn’t going to save her even if Derrick pulled out the bat. “HEY!”
       “Get her for fucksakes!” one of them hissed.
       The guy made a grab for her again and she cursed her long spiked hair; no fucking way! Lily snarled as he jerked her off her feet and slammed her to the ground, just two feet inside the mouth of the ally. So close!
       “Where do you think you’re going bitch?” the youth said, he couldn’t be more than 20, just a few years older than she was.
       “Just do her and let’s get out of here,” said the second guy; the same one who hissed a few seconds earlier.
       “Yeah, yeah,” said the one leaning over her, with his hand clutching her hair; he flicked a switchblade with a snick! It was one of those cheap tacky ones with a plastic black handle and skull on it. Cheesey much? Lily thought and remembered her belt chain she grinned a lopsided grin. “The fuck’r you smiling at, you’re about to die you stupid bitch.”
       “You’re about to be a balless wonder,” she said with a snarl as she pulled the trigger on her police issue taser firing point blank into his crotch. He jerked, spasmed and was thrown backwards into the sidewalk, his head smacked off the pavement. Get up Lily! GET UP!
       Lily climbed to her feet and saw spots in her eyes, damn it he really bounced my head off the ground. She started to run, but staggered instead, her vision tilting sideways: No!
       She felt something slam into her head again and she was falling into the wall, this never happens in the movies. Lily started to sag down to the ground and barely managed to fire off her taster again, but the youth slapped her hand to the side and the shot went wild. There was something hot on her back, the warm sensation was spreading down, and just below her left shoulder it really hurt; a lot. That’s not good, . . . can’t be.
       He was leaning over her now; this guy was in his late twenties, scruffy and tattooed all over, including a stupid tear beneath his left eye. A faux-hawk with earrings lined up like soldiers all through his left ear, what’s with everything on this guys left side? She started by the thought and realised that she was going into shock if she wasn’t already there.
       “Wrong place and wrong time kid,” he sounded genuinely regretful, but that didn’t stop him from stabbing her twice more. That hurts a lot. “Nothing personal, now what you did to Rick that’s gonna piss him off.”
       Once more he stabbed her.
       It was then she saw the man run down the side of the building.
       “Whoa..!” she barely managed to say. That’s not right.
       “You’re a tough kid,” he said as he punched her in the face, her head lolled and smacked off the brick wall.  “That’s for Rick’s nuts.”
       “Again, with the head,” she mumbled.
       Again he stabbed her, or would have, except suddenly the man was there. His hand around her killer’s throat and with ease the new comer picked him up.
       “Whaaat?!” the killer said, but his surprise was short lived, he lashed out with his switch blade and stabbed the man in the throat. “Fuck you asshole, you ain’t taking me that easily!” Again he stabbed the man in the throat, “You like that!” twice, “You like that!” three times, “You like that!” four times.
       “Y, you. . ?” he said one last time in confusion.
       There was no blood and Lily and her killer frowned.
       The man looked at her killer and like that, he closed his fist, with a sickening wet muffled crunching, popping and sudden bursting of flesh and blood; Lily couldn’t believe how abruptly, easily her killer’s neck simply snapped and his head was gapping at a 90 degree angle. He blinked and his mouth worked at he tried to say something, but the man tiredly tossed Lily’s killer to the ground behind him.
       He looked down at her and within the blink of an eye he stood over the groaning and whimpering youth who she had tasered. The man grabbed him by the ankle and picked him up, only to slam him back down like a rag doll, twice. Both times the youth grunted the second was from his death breath being forced from his collapsed lungs.
       He turned around then and looked at her coolly, almost dispassionately and he was standing over her again. How’d he move like that? Wait, ... aw crap.
       Lily remembered trying to smile and say something witty, but her voice failed her, damn it’s cold. The man she saw now that he was blurry and her vision was fading slowly to black, was really young, almost younger than I am.
       “You’re going to be all right now, you’re safe,” she was sure that’s what he said, but she wasn’t sure for all the static in her ears. Kewl . . she thought and the world went dark. “Let’s get you fixed up. 2 comments


* * * *


       She woke up and was surprised to feel cold; the sky was lighter, still night time she saw. There was a breeze on her face and something under her head like a pillow only it wasn’t. She gingerly reached up and found someone’s kneed; Lily snapped awake completely alert and sat up turning around to crouch with her hand instinctively reaching for her taser.
       It was still there.
       A boy sat kneeling on the roof, his black hair spiked to an eight inch height; he was wearing loose fitting jeans, black converse, and a faded leather jacket. His skin was pale and his lips blue, almost a dark blue, he wore eye shadow that made his eyes look slightly sunken in and she was jealous. Damn he got that look down perfect. He was wearing contacts that made the pupils reflect light with a silver sheen; just like Riddick.
       “What did you do to me and who are you?” she asked, the feel of the taser did nothing to ease her fear and nervousness. She noticed then that she could see her breath misting in the cool air, but . . how come I can’t see him breathing?
       “Saved your life is what I did,” his voice was soft and quiet, calm it felt very calm. She noticed blood on his knuckles. “Gave you a choice too for that matter.”
       “What does that mean?” she asked. “What do you mean you gave me a choice, a choice for what?”
       He looked at her and seemed to be uncomfortable, almost like he had to pee really bad, finally he said.
       “Ok, this is definitely not going the way I imagined it would,” he backed up from her fluidly, that was the only word she could think of to describe the way he moved. Graceful wasn’t strong enough of a word. “Uh, well that’s a bit complicated, but I kind of ... aw shit.”
       “You kind of what?”
       Again he looked at her and his face went through a series of emotions before settling on defeat. She felt a cold pit in her stomach.
       “Gave you some ...” he said the last part too quietly for her to hear. “But not a lot of it?”


      “Say that again, only louder this time,” she said and noticed her mouth was really dry.“You gave me what exactly?”
       “Blood.” He said matter of fact. Blinked several times with a look that said “yeahhh.”
       Lily’s mouth dropped open and a million thoughts flew through her mind all at once, she was dimly aware that she was now sitting on her butt.
       “You gave me a transfusion?” her voice felt so far away. Is my voice squeeky?
       “Uh, not exactly.”
       “OMG WTF did you do then?!”
       “I let you drink my blood and now you’re like, you know, better.”
       “Bullshit, that’s creepy dewd!”
       “In all fairness you were dying, been stabbed like a bunch of times, your head was concussed badly,” he stammered and spit out a slew of words. “I had no choice, emergency wouldn’t have been able to save you and even I can’t run that fast.”
       Lily felt her back and her hand came away bloody, her stomach was also bloody, but she couldn’t find the puncture wounds from the knife. I’m not wounded but I remember being stabbed, he gave you blood Lily, blood. What kind of freak does that and what kind of blood . . . oh shit no.
       “Why did you think that was going to save me?” she already knew but wanted him to say it anyway. This can’t be happening, there’s no way this is happening.
       “Oh, that’s easy,” he answered. “I’m a vampire.”
       I’m so drugged up and in the hospital in a morphine stupor, that’s what’s happening.
       “You’re a vampire?”
       “Yup, all day and night,” he said taking out a juice box and taking a sip. “Running with the undead club, more like True Blood than Twilight though and even then not so much, think of us like Near Dark, yeah like those vampires.”
       Lily shook her head and stood up backing away from him. The sun was going to be up in a few minutes or less. The horizon shone with a breath of silver pre-dawn fire, soon so very soon it was to be a new day. She was alive, very much so and from the cloudless sky barely breaking with the night; she knew it was going to be a beautiful day. She heard a flick and smelled tobacco, and then felt the cigarette touch her lips; she smoked quietly and watched the rising sun. Slowly it rose as if it knew the significance of this morning and it peaked, ever so slightly, over the lip of the world. She felt the wind, quietly kiss her face and bring with it the first rays of dawn. They felt warm, like her mother’s touch; mom I’m going to miss you.
       “Can you prove it?” she asked turning around to see him standing behind her with his face in the sunlight; his only protection from the sun was a pair of sunglasses. “How come you’re not burning up in the sunlight, vampires are supposed to blow up in the sunlight no, or is that the part like Twilight?”
       “I’m wearing sun block, and the shades help for a short duration,” he said smiling. “What more do you need to have me prove it to you?”
       “Fangs?”
       Snikt! He grinned and fangs popped down, lots of fangs. Snikt! Back up they went leaving his teeth looking too normal.
       Lily grunted with a slack jawed smile.
       “How long have you been a vampire?”
       “I used baby sit this dewd that grew up to be a bad hombre named Jesus.”
       “Jesus?”
       “Jesus.”
       “The Jesus?”
       “The Jesus.”
       “No, shit?”
       “No shit.”
       “Shiiiiiiit.”
       He smiled slightly.
       Lily looked at him for a long time before turning back to the sunrise. Halfway visible the sun shimmered on the horizon.
       “What do I call you now?” She looked over her shoulder at him. “I’m not calling you master so don’t even think it.”
       “Nymotus,” he smirked and took another sip of his juice box. “My name is Nymotus.”
       He held out his hand. She looked at it and then at him. He can’t have been more than 15 when he was turned.
       “I’m Lily,” she said shaking his hand; it was warm, not cold at all. “Like the flower.”
       I remember when I wanted to live forever. . . 2 comments


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