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Rebekah King Rebekah King
Recommendations: 21

I Hate Clowns

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For Fools

Why? Because I feel like it needed to be said by someone.

Ever since I was little, I have always hated clowns. They are literally one of the creepiest things ever devised by Man. I don't understand how anyone could like them. I wonder whose idea it was - who thought that a dude in a puffy multi-coloured and patterned suit with big orange hair, a joker mouth, a big red nose, shoes that are 15 sizes too big and scary make-up would possibly appeal to children? Seriously, whose idea was that? Because I'd have one or two things to say to that person.

If I had a time machine, there are a few people in history I would go back and do away with: Hitler is number one, Tony Abbott number two and number three is the dude who thought freaking clowns were a good idea. When I become a parent, I won't blame my children if they're scared of clowns. In fact, I would even encourage it. If not for the fact that you can't trust anyone, then just for the fact that clowns are scary and creepy as hell.

Why am I ranting about clowns? Because I see too many situations where clowns are being associated with happiness and nice things. No. Clowns are not nice, they're terrifying. I'd put them in the same category as gremlins and Felix Kjellberg's new haircut: weird and unnerving. But mostly I'm ranting because I felt like it. Sue me. No, sue clowns. They've caused a lot of children psychological damage. Including me. They deserve to be sued. I need to invest in time-travel research. Oh, wait, I have no money. Nevermind. What was I talking about?

Oh, right, clowns suck. And if another one ever comes near me again I'm gonna Jodan Tsuki his big stupid Rudolph nose so hard it recedes straight into his dumb white face. I hate clowns. Don't even get me started on the dudes in the cartoon character suits.

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