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Don Yarber Don Yarber
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Humor on TV

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Fun about TV commercials

It always amazes me how people react to television advertisements.  My wife ignores them.  I try to find humor in them.  Example:

The Cialis commercial.  It is supposed to be a pill one takes for erectile dysfunction (whatever that is).  I picture in my mind a man with a little weenie who takes a pill then runs around the house yelling,

"See, Alice, See Alice!"

Or the other one, Viagra.  There's a man dressed as a Doctor who advises men that if they have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours to see a doctor.  I watch it and I'm thinking, "To Heck with the Doctor, I'm going to find me a Nurse!"  Then they say that it may make you go blind.  That's what they used to tell us boys about masturbating.  Oh well.  I'll just get me a white cane before I go looking for a Nurse.   1 comment

One more.  Celebrex.  For Arthritis?  One of the side effects is diarrhea.  I hear that I'm thinking, "That's all I need, to be crippled up and not able to walk to the bathroom then come down with a dose of diarrhea."

I decided to experiment with Viagra.  I got on the internet and ordered some.  When the package came I did not notice that it was from Fantastic Gardens.  The name was similar, so I really didn't notice that either.  It was Viagro.  I took one.  I did not get an erection but my pubic hair is down to my knees.

One that really gets me is the stuff for toenails.  "Are your toenails yellow and disfigured?"  I really never look at my toenails unless they need trimming.  So the other day I looked at them.  They weren't yellow or disfigured.  Thank God!  There's another TV commercial I can ignore!

A few years ago the FCC in America banned all advertising of cigarettes, hard liquors and wine. But they still allow beer commercials.  Some of the best humor can be found in these commercials.  I'd like to get a job writing beer commercials.  They could pay me in beer.  But I just couldn't write for some beers because I don't like them.  For example, if I were writing a Budweiser commercial I'd have to say, "Our beer is recycled.  The Donkey drank it first, then the Clydesdales drank it.  You could be next!"

There's one about some nose drops for allergies.  If I've got an allergy and sneezing my head off, the last thing I would want is for a bunch of little men in white coats sticking a huge nozzle up my nose.

Ask your doctor about HeartDraino, the new anti-cholesterol medicine approved by the American Medical Association.  It is guaranteed to reduce your cholesterol to safe levels.  (Possible side effects are:  Paralysis, Kidney Failure, Cirrhosis of the Liver, Ulcerated Colon, Cerebral Palsy, Spinal Meningitis, Sudden Death Syndrome, Uncontrollable Migraines, Malaria, Syphilis, and yellow toenail fungus.)

Back to Viagra and Cialis.  They always advise you to ask your Doctor if you are healthy enough for sex.  I can just imagine a guy in the utmost fires of passion, ready willing and not being able.  He takes a pill.  Suddenly he's ready, willing and able.  He picks up his cell phone and calls his doctor.
"Sorry, Doctor Jones plays golf on Wednesdays."

He calls the golf course:

"Is Doctor Jones there?"

He hears a buzz like Charlie Brown's teacher talking to him on the phone, then Doctor Jones answers:

"This is Doctor Jones, can I help you?"

"Yeah, Doc, Am I healthy enough for sex?"

An hour later, Doctor Jones comes through the bedroom door, hits him between the eyes with a nine iron and says firmly,


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