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Raven Roads Raven Roads
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The Trickster- Prolouge

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Under the Double Star - Chapter One

Im back ^·^

Hey there reader. Chose to read my story did ya? Good choice! I'm much less tight and depressing than the other two you will hear from later. I'm all about having fun and living life to the fullest, because being depressed and emotions get so tedious after a while. I just tell my jokes and push all that hippie hug fest stuff away.

One thing before I begin with my gripping story. If you're a psychiatrist and are already pinning mental disorders on me, I swear I will come to your house and bite you. This is not a story to judge, but to read and enjoy. Plus it's me talking. Why wouldn't you enjoy the gloriusness that is Ravenni?

So I guess this where I start with telling you when I was born, where and all that right? I'm not exactly experienced in this story telling crap so just bare with me here. Im about 68 million years old, give or take a few hundred thousand years.

Now I know what you're thinking. 'oh Raven you handsome joker. No one can live that long!' While I may be handsome and know my way around a joke, I hate to inform you I'm completely serious. Which doesn't happen much so savor the seriousness while you can.

Where was I? Oh yeah. 68 million years ago. The time of those giant lizard things. Not much for entertainment. I was kinda glad they were killed off. Im even more glad I have a good memory or this story wouldn't make much sense to you. Anyway, Moving on. I was born on Earth, the Third Dimension, on the Italian Peninsula. I don't know who my parents are. I didn't meet them, nor did they care enough to check up on little ole me. My very first memory is waking up in a weird cave. I mean all caves are weird, but this one was something else. It seemed like the walls talked to me and Damn near made me insane as a child. Wonderful upbringing that was. But From the very beginning of my existence, I had one thing. Speed. And I'm talking time stopping speed. My body was human, and had matured around 250 years of being alive. I hunted those lizard things for food and got my water from the river I never strayed far from.

I had gotten so bored after a while that I started to screw with the lizards just to entertain myself. I would pretend to be hurt and weakened just waiting for a meat chopper to come and get me. Right before their jaws would snap down, I'd disappear into the forests. The look of confusion on their faces still makes me laugh. I hadn't even realized that my speed was just scratching the surface of the things I could do.

It wasn't until I was half a million years old, that I realized I had another ability. I was watching a three horned lizard charge an injured meat chomper. Big head, tall, but really tiny arms. It was like it couldn't decide whether to be a midget or a globetrotter. I remember thinking how awesome it would be one of those things and suddenly realized I had 4 legs, a weird scaly tail and horns on my head. I could shapeshift! Which meant even more tricks I could pull. I tried to make sounds and realized I could still make all the sounds I usually made as a human. Then I approached the three horn I had mimicked myself after and realized I was a lot bigger. It was a little Chihuahua compared to me, and it was smart enough to run away in terror once it looked at me. I remember laughing from the look it had and shifting back to my human form.

Speaking of which. I think I invented laughter. The Joker invented laughing! Isn't that a little ironic?

Anyway it was about a million and a half years later when that rock smashed into the earth, killing all the Lizards. Which was really disappointing because I had absolutely no entertainment whatsoever. That Damn rock had to ruin everything and I spent the next 65 and some odd years bored out of my mind. There was a huge volcano explosion here and there that kept things a little spicy, but nothing to keep my attention for a long time. It wasn't until those furry little monkeys came along that I started to have fun. I pulled the same crap I had with the lizards. Stealing their food before they could even think of blinking. Pulling pranks on them. Basically making their lives miserable, so I could get in a good laugh. It was about 10-25 thousand years later they started to lose the fur and become a little like me in my human form. I liked they got rid of the fur. Hairiness on any part of the body is just not attractive.

They started to become more intelligent, but still couldn't talk. Listening in on their grunting debates was my entertainment before long and even that became boring after a while. I returned to the cave I was born in by my lovely river and kept there until my favorite time in history came along.

Before we get into that, I feel like you should know some basic things about me. My favorite color is Blue, I love classical music, I don't like flowers, most people annoy me, and my favorite animal is a Wolf.

The first few don't really matter, but I felt like you should know a tiny bit about me before the story really began. I bet you are wondering why I love the wolf huh? It's certainly a lot weaker than the three horn I mentioned earlier. Well just stop being impatient and let me get to it.

I found an injured wolf by my cave one day while I was in my normal human form. I had never seen a creature like it before, despite my constant travels around the small globe. I felt bad for the thing, took it in my cave and tried to save it. It died a few days later and I almost felt sad, until I realized I could shapeshift into one of them. Once I did, I knew I had found my favorite form. As a Wolf, my senses were so much sharper then before from sense of smell to my sense of hearing. I could run even faster in wolf form, then in any of my other ones and I liked having a furry tail. I love wagging it and making a lot of noise. Anyway, when I'm in that form, and I pretty much always am, I stand at around 8 1/2 tall. I change my fur color every day, but usually always return to good ole white. My eyes remain a bright green, just like they are in my human form, and everything else pretty much matches my height. I've never weighed myself so I can't tell you that detail. I wouldn't want to even if I did know. That's my business and you're already learning everything about me. I have to keep SOME mystery in this relationship we have.

Back to the story though. The reason I told you all that about the wolf and me being a Wolf, is because there's a legend that actually features me. Remus and Romulus, the original foundation myth for the Roman Empire. Now let's get something clear. I did NOT suckle them. Nor was there any woodpecker to feed them. All that bull is from some hippies just trying to get nature into the mix of Mythology. I found the two kids on the side of the river by my cave and out of the kindness of my heart, took them in. I handed them over a shepherd and his lovely little wife. Let's. Uh.. let's not get into details about the wife.

Anyway I was the one who basically guided them through life without pulling a single trick. I was quite proud of myself for the restraint I had. Of course I went to some place in Asia and screwed with the people there to compensate for my lack of fun in Italy, but that's beside the point! When Romulus killed Remus I was a little peeved, but again I kept my composure and didn't directly interfere with his life. I watched the mighty Roman Republic rise to immortality. And I was actually proud of the events I had set in motion. It wasn't a joke or anything like that. Again, savor the seriousness, there isn't much. Now I had to have a little fun while I busy being the guardian of Rome, and since I refused to pull my usual shenanigans in Rome, I had to go up north to have a little fun. I chose the Scandinavian Peninsula as my victim and things kinda went a different way than I wanted them to. They may have made me a God due to my constant tricks and illusions that confused them on a daily basis. They named me Loki and actually had a small cult devoted to me. Now don't get me wrong, a guy like me? I should be revered. But worshipped? That's kind of pushing it with both creepiness and stupidity. I am in no way a God, and it's a little silly pretending otherwise.

All great things come to an end. That's a lesson I've had to learn in the many years I've been on Earth. And it was a lesson that was a bit obvious after that whole dinosaur extinction thing. As the years wore on, Rome began to slowly crumble. Damn power mongers overreached and lost all of it. I almost felt a tinge of sadness again, before I realized that Roman Culture had spread around Europe and might one day spread beyond it. I was content with the fact that Rome was forever immortalized. Then they finally fell to pieces, and so did my entertainment. I was left to be bored yet again, watching men hack each other to pieces over ridiculous reasons. Now I know my beloved Rome had some pretty stupid reasons for their wars, but everyone else was worse. As Religion became the main reason, I found myself laughing at the sheer stupidity of it. Men killing thousands over a name and a book. Don't get me wrong, sometime it helps to be devout. But what kind of God wants you to slaughter thousands in his name? Unless you're Ares or Thor, you don't really ask for it. Let's not get into the South American gods and all that. I still think they're a loony bunch in the modern days.

The next 2 millennia were barely a blink to me. When you've lived as long as I have, days aren't really days. A human year is like a day for me. God, I keep losing focus. I told you I sucked at this storytelling crap.

Okay. So I watched religious wars, plagues, greed, and even more religious crap tear up Europe. How it's still standing today, I really don't know. They're a hardy bunch, those smelly Europeans. Or is that just the French? I watched my beloved Italy become a pale imitation of what they used to be as the World Wars came into History. Every day during that time frame I resisted the urge to step in and stop the madness that they went through, but I had learned the hard way a long time ago that interfering with Destiny is a very bad idea. I've had some doozies, but that one beats all the others because of the pain I went through. Absolute awful physical pain. The World Wars passed and that new country named America became the big deal with their nuclear bomb and what not. They were the strongest military wise and could pretty much whoop anyone's ass. Yet somehow couldn't handle green pieces of paper. Did you see that great depression? Learn to handle paper America. It isn't that bloody hard.

The new Millennium began and I found I was bored with Earth. Going into space was a big no no, so I simply searched every inch of the planet for a door or gate of some sort. As 2006 came to pass, I found one deep in a mine shaft in that place called Chile. Like the dumbass I am, I stepped through and ended up in a completely different dimension. I still don't really know how it all works, because all I could really focus on as the fact I had a new place to explore.

For the past 9 years I've spent time traveling to over 20 dimensions. All each more boring then the last. Some were behind on their technology from earth, some were at ahead and some were at the same place. I even ran across Atlantis once! But that's a story for a different day. Now we are up to where I am now. In a dusty little inn, in a dimension I believe is named Plexia. Seriously they need a janitor of some kind at this Damn place. I haven't even taken a drink yet and there's already dust in my drink. Talk about a bad business.

Anyway. Shall we finally begin with the real story?

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